A how to guide for ordering coffee Down Under
For those of you who have grown up in other areas of the world ordering a coffee in Australia can be quite confusing, as I myself have found when traveling to other parts of the world- specifically in America where I had to explain what a Mocha was (you know chocolate and coffee, as although they spell it the same, our pronunciation is rather different- think of the O’s used in dock, mock and lock and that is how we pronounce it, like ‘mocka’). Or in rural France, Mulhouse where I had a few hours to kill waiting for my German sister Anna and inadvertently ordered five shots of expresso...I can tell you I was fairly pinging for the rest of the day, right up to when Anna came and the fatigue set in. But back to Aus, we have such things as Affogato’s (black coffee with a scoop of ice cream), Vienna’s (black or white that consist of cream on the top) Cappuccinos (strong coffee with lots of frothy milk), Latte’s (similar to caps, but with less expresso and froth), Macchiato’s (a shot of expresso with a dash of milk), Expresso (simply put, a shot of coffee), Flat White’s (a white coffee, similar to a cap but with only a slight film of froth on the top) and of course Long and Short Blacks (self explanatory i think). Some have discovered the hilarity that we take for granted and generally don’t think twice about it till it is pointed out to us by others. “It appeared that you had to specify a length (principally long or short), a colour (black or white) and even an angle of orientation to the perpendicular (flat or not), and these could be put together in a multitude of permutations” (Bill Bryson)
Here follows the best description of the game of cricket that I have ever read. Kudos to Bill Bryson once again!
“After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind) I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of golf carts wouldn’t fix in a hurry. It is not true that the English invented cricket as a awy of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect. I don’t wish to denigrate a sport that is enjoyed by millions, some of them awake and facing the right way, but it is an odd game. It is the only sport that incorporates meal breaks. It is the only sport that shares its name with an insect. It is the only sport in which spectators burn as many calories as players (more if they are moderately restless). It is the only competitive activity of any type, other than perhaps baking, in which you can dress in white from head to toe and be as clean at the end of the day as you were at the beginning. Imagine a form of baseball in which the pitcher, after each delivery, collects the ball from the catcher and walks slowly with it out to centre field; and that there, after a minute’s pause to collect himself, he turns and runs full tilt towards the pitcher’s mound before hurling the ball at the ankles of a man who stands before him wearing a riding hat, heavy gloves of the sort used to handle radioactive isotopes, and a mattress strapped to each leg. Imagine moreover that if this batsman fails to hit the ball in a way that heartens him sufficiently to waddle sixty feet with mattresses strapped to his legs he is under no formal compulsion to run; he may stand there all day, and, as a rule, does. if by some miracle he is coaxed into making a misstroke that leads to his being put out, all the infielders throw up their arms in triumph and have a hug. Then tea is called and everyone retires happily to a distant pavilion to fortify for the next siege. Now imagine all this going on for so long that by the time the match concludes autumn has crept in and all your library books are overdue. There you have cricket.”
A Town Named "Batmania"
At least that is what it used to be called. When first settled in 1835 the area around the Yarra River region of Victoria was named after one of it's first settlers, John Batman. Between the years 1835 and 1837 the area was also known as Bearbrass, Bareport, Bareheap, Barehurp and Bareberp. In March of 1937, the town was officially named in honour of the British Prime Minister, Lord Melbourne. The later mining boom in the areas around Melbourne resulted in the town growing rapidly. At the time of the country's federation in 1901 the Federal capital was situated in Melbourne until it could be relocated to new parliamentary headquarters which were to be built at Canberra. The Canberra construction was not completed until 1927, so for 26 years Melbourne was the capital of Australia. Personally, I think "Batmania" would make a great name for a capital city.
Some may find this offensive — especially if you are not an Aussie, but I think its a good example of the screwed sense of humour that the Good Lord blessed those of us fortunate to live Down Under with. So enjoy. :)
Why Jesus Was an Aussie
* He wore thongs (Aussies call flip flops thongs fyi)
* He was a chippy (carpenter), who like all good union members didn't work on weekends.
* His favourite past times were fishing, camping, going 4-wheel donkeying, and most of his mates were fishermen.
* His mates all had nicknames: The Rock, The Doubter, Simon Peter, The Baptist etc.
* The only time he went to church as a young bloke he got into a fight.
* He was a champion surfer - he was almost as good as if he could walk on water.
* He did a mean barbie, 5000 people rock up, no wuckers, throw a few fresh caught fish on the barbie, some buns and a bit of mum's potato salad (it's in the Gospel of Thomas, trust me) and bob's your uncle.
* No one is exactly sure where he was earning his quid from but he had a mate in the tax office so it was all sweet.
* And to top it all off, he turned water into alcohol and so founded the tradition of Aussie home brew.
No comments:
Post a Comment